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The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc."Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving. The Millers had moved into the house across the street when I was seven. My mother took a plate of her home made brownies to them as a welcome to the neighborhood gift. Mom and Mrs. Miller became good friends immediately. They had a lot in common, same age, both had grown up in small towns, both were stay at home mothers and wives. One difference was that Mrs. Miller had given birth to a daughter, Penny. I was born six days before Penny. I can remember watching out the front window as they moved in. The first time I saw her was the day a moving van pulled up in front of their house. It was followed by a car that parked nearby and three people got out. It was obvious that it was a married couple with a young daughter about my age. The daughter had her blonde hair braided into two pigtails that hung down on either side of her head. She looked kind of cute but I really couldn’t tell from that distance. The first time I saw her up close was two days later when one of the secretaries.
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